Dutch Dating

For centuries, whenever a date occurred, there were some very specific and accepted rules in place. The first one is that the guys always did the asking. Only a few times was it acceptable for girls to do the asking. These were events like Sadie Hawkins Day and simply social events that were set up by high schools, churches and various community organizations where the girls asked the guys they wanted to attend these events with them. The next rule is that the guys always paid for the date. Again, the only exception to this is when the girls were also the ones doing the asking. The guys provided the transportation and picked up the girls at their homes. Girls could do this when they were involved in one of those switching events. 

That may have made sense years ago when people had decent jobs, made adequate money at them, and the prices for entertainment wasn’t so high. These days, unless you happen to work as a doctor, lawyer, or CEO of a large company, you probably have to save up your money in order to afford asking a woman out on a date and paying for it. Due to the economy, it’s become the accepted practice of “Dutch Dating.” This means, basically, that when on an expensive date, the man pays for his half and the woman pays for hers. 

  
While this can get a bit sticky at times, there are actually new rules that govern Dutch Dating. When a couple is dating where each one makes pretty much the same amount of money, it’s acceptable for each partner to pay their own way. In this away, the couples get to do much more exciting things on dates than just having burgers at a fast food restaurant and watching a rented DVD at home. Now, there’s certainly nothing wrong with doing those things sometimes on dates, but who wants to do them all the time? 

If you want to do something special for someone that you’re dating, then you can save up some money for an event such as a birthday or anniversary. When you do the asking for something like this, you should expect to pay for all of it. This can be a nice thing to do for someone you care about. 

There’s also a rule about the person that makes the most money paying for the date, or at least paying for a larger portion of it. Again, this rule changes around depending on who did the asking and who planned the type of date it would be. There’s nothing wrong with women paying for the entire date sometimes, either. In fact, many couples switch back and forth as to who will foot the bill for dates. For instance, the guy pays for one and the woman pays for the next one and so on. This can work out pretty well. 
One rule that should always be in place is the first date rule. When a guy asks a woman out for the first time, he should be prepared to pay for the entire date. If the couple continues dating, they can make their own rules as they go along. 

Dealing With Her Reaction When You Break Up

You know your girlfriend better than almost anyone else, so you may be able to predict how she will react. Some of the ways women react to being told the relationship is over is to cry, have hysterics, scream at you, throw things, and storm out. Unless you perceive that there is any chance of real violence, you just have to put up with whatever scene she causes. That's the price of breaking up.

You can't control her, but you can control your reaction to her. For instance, when she cries, you can start crying too. That will really throw her. It doesn't have to be a sloppy cry, but a tear or two might stop her in her tracks.

If she starts yelling, you can take it with stoic silence. If she wants to know why you are doing this, you can soothe her and lie.

If she doesn't say anything, don't fill up the silence with explanations. Let her finish her dinner in silence and let her leave.

Be prepared for her arguments about why you should remain a couple. She may promise anything if you will agree to stay together. But, by the time you have decided to break up, you should already know that there is nothing she or you can do to change the situation and you are both better off single.

Whatever you do, you should have a disentanglement strategy. Perhaps you can schedule an appointment for one hour after the break up meeting time. If this is an appointment that you just can't miss, you will have to walk out of there composed.

How to Tell Her

Now we get to the nitty-gritty. How should you tell your girlfriend that you are breaking up? Avoid psychobabble. She'll see right through it. Saying "it's not you, it's me" is meaningless because she is going to know that it really is her. You are not calling all women off. You're calling her off.

Be clear that you are breaking up with her and there is no room for discussion. This is a decision you have made and it requires no input or discussion on her part.

Be concise. You don't have to drag it out if you don't want to. She can cry on her girlfriends' shoulders. You are no longer her punching bag.

You may feel that you have to offer explanations, but you really don't. You are not doing her any favors by telling her that she is a nag or that you are tired of her manipulating you. It won't help her be a better girlfriend for another guy. She'll just use your words against you. And, you won't get anything out of it.

Perhaps the best line is "I don’t think we're a good fit anymore." Leave it at that and walk away if you're smart.
Ps. Whatever you say or do in the middle of a breakup it all come down to one thing. Everything we give out
we receive back; the good and the bad so before you are in the middle of a storm learn how to handle it or to avoid it by watching this!

Dealing With Her Reaction When You Break Up

You know your girlfriend better than almost anyone else, so you may be able to predict how she will react. Some of the ways women react to being told the relationship is over is to cry, have hysterics, scream at you, throw things, and storm out. Unless you perceive that there is any chance of real violence, you just have to put up with whatever scene she causes. That's the price of breaking up.

You can't control her, but you can control your reaction to her. For instance, when she cries, you can start crying too. That will really throw her. It doesn't have to be a sloppy cry, but a tear or two might stop her in her tracks.

If she starts yelling, you can take it with stoic silence. If she wants to know why you are doing this, you can soothe her and lie.

If she doesn't say anything, don't fill up the silence with explanations. Let her finish her dinner in silence and let her leave.

Be prepared for her arguments about why you should remain a couple. She may promise anything if you will agree to stay together. But, by the time you have decided to break up, you should already know that there is nothing she or you can do to change the situation and you are both better off single.

Whatever you do, you should have a disentanglement strategy. Perhaps you can schedule an appointment for one hour after the break up meeting time. If this is an appointment that you just can't miss, you will have to walk out of there composed.

How to Tell Her

Now we get to the nitty-gritty. How should you tell your girlfriend that you are breaking up? Avoid psychobabble. She'll see right through it. Saying "it's not you, it's me" is meaningless because she is going to know that it really is her. You are not calling all women off. You're calling her off.

Be clear that you are breaking up with her and there is no room for discussion. This is a decision you have made and it requires no input or discussion on her part.

Be concise. You don't have to drag it out if you don't want to. She can cry on her girlfriends' shoulders. You are no longer her punching bag.

You may feel that you have to offer explanations, but you really don't. You are not doing her any favors by telling her that she is a nag or that you are tired of her manipulating you. It won't help her be a better girlfriend for another guy. She'll just use your words against you. And, you won't get anything out of it.

Perhaps the best line is "I don’t think we're a good fit anymore." Leave it at that and walk away if you're smart.
Ps. Whatever you say or do in the middle of a breakup it all come down to one thing. Everything we give out
we receive back; the good and the bad so before you are in the middle of a storm learn how to handle it or to avoid it by watching this!