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onsdag 1 oktober 2014

When the Smoke Clears

After an affair has been discovered and the initial shock has worn off, there is a sense of helplessness that the offended spouse goes through. Similar to stages of grief, there is a time of shock, anger, mourning and disbelief. In a sense you are mourning the breakdown of a relationship – and what happens from here will be up to you. 
Dating

 So what’s next? What do you do after the initial horror? Sometimes what you SHOULDN’T do is just as important as what you do. 

 Don’t:

 • Make revolutionary decisions about the state of your marriage. The day you discover an affair is not the day to call a divorce lawyer – although you will certainly be tempted to get one on retainer. Spend some time letting the raw emotions settle before deciding one way or another. 

 • Stop taking care of yourself. A couple of days drowning your sorrows in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s is not going to be the end of the world. A couple of months with Cherry Garcia and not only is your marriage in trouble, so is your health. Make sure that you are eating regularly and getting some exercise. If you were already routinely working out, get back to it. If not, now is a good time to spend a little time doing something good for yourself. 

 • Go crazy trying to “pay him back”. A rebound affair is trouble in every way. Don’t go looking for a way to show him how it felt or to prove you’ve “still got it”. It won’t help you sort out your feelings and it won’t be helpful in any way – it only adds to the disaster. 
When the Smoke Clears
• Stop having fun. You may think that laughing and having fun seem wrong during what is a major crisis in your life. It’s ok to still enjoy life – because life does (and will) go on. Go see a movie and laugh – the saying “Laughter is the best medicine” does have merit. It restores some of your joy – even if you don’t realize it.

• Act like nothing’s wrong. It is ok to mourn, and have feelings of anger and betrayal. You don’t have to put on a brave face for your kids – let them know in a healthy and non-frightening way that you’re sad and upset, but that you are working through it. They can usually pick up on your emotions and will know something is wrong - denying it will only add to their sense of unease. 

 • Refuse help. Sometimes you need a non-partial third party to talk to. Seek counselling through your church, work programs or a licensed counselor. There is no weakness in admitting you need help. 

 • Be unrealistic. Recovering from infidelity will take time. The tentacles will be far-reaching and can catch you unawares – even when you think you’ve gotten over it. Don’t place unrealistic expectations on yourself for how long it takes you to be able to move on and feel secure. 

 Moving on from an affair does not have to spell the end of a relationship. It will take time and effort to get over the betrayal, but it is possible if you take the right steps. 

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torsdag 5 december 2013

Steps To A Happier Healthier Relationship

Welcome; todays article Steps To A Happier Healthier Relationship makes me think of something like; easier said then done. The steps in the article is essential in  a happy relationship and it may not be easy to implement everyone of them all of the time but focus on one or two of them to start with. As they become your second nature you can add more of them and soon enough you will be on the highway to the relation you dream of. If you would prefer some changes regarding your partner it will probably come as a bonus to your changed behaviour. You see its easier to change yourself then someone else. 
Light and Love
Dick Scott
gryningsljus fram
If you’re like most people, you probably set some New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of the year. You may have resolved to lose weight, exercise more, be more productive, or even change careers. There are so many different things that you can promise you’ll do to improve your quality of life. If you’re in a relationship, you may want to put making that relationship more open and honest at the top of your list. Many couples tend to just let their relationships take care of themselves and hope that the issues just take care of themselves. Then they’ll argue every day and start disliking each other.
Ignoring your relationship isn’t the best way to keep it going in a positive direction. If you want your relationship to be a happy one, you have to work on it. There are some things that you can do to keep your relationship going strong as well as continually happy.
can-you-guess-why-my-best-friends-are-so-happy_l

Have a look at these following tips to help improve your relationship:
Say the magic words: Telling your partner “thank you” and asking “please” shows them how much they’re appreciated. It also prevents you from taking them for granted.
Get physical: Grab your partner’s butt to show them how hot you think they are.
Kiss each morning: This promises to get your day off to a great start.
Greet each other with a “good morning”: Acknowledgement of each other daily shows how much you care.
Make time to cuddle: Physical closeness goes a long way to keeping warmth, excitement and love in a relationship.
My Banner
Don’t isolate yourselves: Resolve to get out at least once a week together with family or friends.
Don’t over use pet names: When you use them too much, it can end up keeping you from taking each other seriously, which can damage your relationship.
Practice listening skills: Couples need to listen to each other as well as be able to communicate effectively.
Take turns doing the dishes or loading the dishwasher: Sharing chores can keep your relationship on equal footing.
Be honest: You should be honest with each other even when it’s not easy.
Play the Decision Game: When neither of you can decide which restaurant you want to eat at or what movie you want to see, one of you names 5 choices. The other partner vetoes 2 of these. The first partner then eliminates the last 2. Now you have your decision.
Respect each other’s private space: This is particularly important when you live together. Each of you should have a place to retreat to for a little while to have time to yourselves.
When you follow these simple steps to improving your relationship and keeping it happy, you’ll find that this was the best resolution of them all. You and your partner will continue to have a healthy relationship in which you can both feel comfortable and excited about. Also, when you really think about it, these steps are actually things that you should have been doing all along.
Thanx for reading through the whole article and please feel free to read more of my articles and pages on HowToGetLoverBack and also check out my other blogs;)
Dick Scott
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Etiketter: , , , , ,

Steps To A Happier Healthier Relationship

Welcome; todays article Steps To A Happier Healthier Relationship makes me think of something like; easier said then done. The steps in the article is essential in  a happy relationship and it may not be easy to implement everyone of them all of the time but focus on one or two of them to start with. As they become your second nature you can add more of them and soon enough you will be on the highway to the relation you dream of. If you would prefer some changes regarding your partner it will probably come as a bonus to your changed behaviour. You see its easier to change yourself then someone else. 
Light and Love
Dick Scott
gryningsljus fram
If you’re like most people, you probably set some New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of the year. You may have resolved to lose weight, exercise more, be more productive, or even change careers. There are so many different things that you can promise you’ll do to improve your quality of life. If you’re in a relationship, you may want to put making that relationship more open and honest at the top of your list. Many couples tend to just let their relationships take care of themselves and hope that the issues just take care of themselves. Then they’ll argue every day and start disliking each other.
Ignoring your relationship isn’t the best way to keep it going in a positive direction. If you want your relationship to be a happy one, you have to work on it. There are some things that you can do to keep your relationship going strong as well as continually happy.
can-you-guess-why-my-best-friends-are-so-happy_l

Have a look at these following tips to help improve your relationship:
Say the magic words: Telling your partner “thank you” and asking “please” shows them how much they’re appreciated. It also prevents you from taking them for granted.
Get physical: Grab your partner’s butt to show them how hot you think they are.
Kiss each morning: This promises to get your day off to a great start.
Greet each other with a “good morning”: Acknowledgement of each other daily shows how much you care.
Make time to cuddle: Physical closeness goes a long way to keeping warmth, excitement and love in a relationship.
My Banner
Don’t isolate yourselves: Resolve to get out at least once a week together with family or friends.
Don’t over use pet names: When you use them too much, it can end up keeping you from taking each other seriously, which can damage your relationship.
Practice listening skills: Couples need to listen to each other as well as be able to communicate effectively.
Take turns doing the dishes or loading the dishwasher: Sharing chores can keep your relationship on equal footing.
Be honest: You should be honest with each other even when it’s not easy.
Play the Decision Game: When neither of you can decide which restaurant you want to eat at or what movie you want to see, one of you names 5 choices. The other partner vetoes 2 of these. The first partner then eliminates the last 2. Now you have your decision.
Respect each other’s private space: This is particularly important when you live together. Each of you should have a place to retreat to for a little while to have time to yourselves.
When you follow these simple steps to improving your relationship and keeping it happy, you’ll find that this was the best resolution of them all. You and your partner will continue to have a healthy relationship in which you can both feel comfortable and excited about. Also, when you really think about it, these steps are actually things that you should have been doing all along.
Thanx for reading through the whole article and please feel free to read more of my articles and pages on HowToGetLoverBack and also check out my other blogs;)
Dick Scott
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